The Couple in the Closet
by xSweaterGirlx
Summary: In which everyone knows... Everyone except Remus and Sirius themselves, that is. Slash - SB/RL


Disclaimer: I own nothing; all characters and names (and whatever things else that I mention) belong to JK Rowling; I just like to play about with and warp them for my own (and hopefully, the readers') entertainment.

* * *

"Don't look so worried my dear Padfoot, I promise I'll be gentle"; from the worn, beige couch James smirked down at the slightly skinnier boy lounging on the carpet.

"Oi, gerroff my hair! This masterpiece takes me hours of painstaking sculpting every morning, I'll have you know", Sirius grumbled, batting James' hands away as he leaned forwards in an attempt to ruffle his friend's cascade of ebony, shoulder-length hair.

His fingers nimbly placing each playing card in its rightful location, ascending order from right to left, Remus absent-mindedly commented "don't be ridiculous; you know full well that you simply get out of bed and effortlessly have your hair fall into place of its own accord. It always looks perfect."

Still concentrating on sorting through the hand he'd been dealt, Remus didn't notice the sly smirk which Lily shot her bespectacled boyfriend, nor the slightly bemused expression upon James' face as the final word hung in the air for slightly too long.

"So, who wants another drink?" suddenly on his feet and heading towards the dimly lit kitchen, Sirius broke the brief silence that had fallen amongst the group. He paused at the doorway, eyebrows raised.

"I think you can assume that'd be all of us, Padders" James said, rolling his eyes. "Speaking of which, that last Firewhiskey went straight through me; 'scuse me for a few minutes!". He planted a quick kiss on Lily's delicately pale cheek before disappearing upstairs.

Left alone together in the room, Lily broke the comfortable silence; having always felt a natural affinity towards him more so than James' other friends, she always felt much more like a friend than acquaintance to him. "So, where's Peter tonight, then?" she inquired.

"Having a cosy night in with this new girlfriend of his, apparently. I've yet to meet her, haven't heard much about her either though."

"Not much of a talker is he, Peter?" Lily laughed, she found it amusing the way Peter still blushed when she was around, despite having been the novelty female of the group for a few years now. She knew there was nothing behind it; James' said that he was just that way with anyone outside of the Marauderers, lacking in self-confidence and rather unsure of himself. "Still, it'll be nice to have another girl around. Not only that, we can go out in pairs. Oddly numbered groups are inadvertently awkward; now we've got me and James, Peter and this girl of his, and, of course, Sirius and you." Lily knew she was rambling slightly, but she'd always been something of a lightweight. And anyway, at the rate the boys' knocked back their own drinks, she knew they'd be under the metaphorical table far sooner than her.

"Sirius and I? Yes, I suppose that's the way, isn't it… The two poor condemned-to-be-bachelors-forever together!" Remus smiled down at his drink, he'd never really given much thought to romantic relationships; it had never felt like there was a hole in his life that needed filling in that respect. Aware that such contentment was unusual, especially for a hormonal teenager, he'd long since decided that his transformation every month must have something to do with it; he wondered if some small part of him knew that the chances of him finding love were slim and had decided to protect him from the grief of looking for it.

"Condemned to be bachelors, really?" Lily looked at him quizzically, "Remus, tell me… Haven't you ever thought that perhaps the two of you-"

The end of her sentence was omitted by a thundering racket: James and Sirius, who had evidently found each other and, by the sounds of things, more alcohol, came rowdily singing back into the living room. Arms slumped around each others' shoulders, they held their goblets above their heads in salute as they paused in front of Remus and Lily and bellowed the last few lines of a song that sounded vaguely familiar but due to the boys' alcohol-induced merriment had been rendered completely incomprehensible. Remus suspected the main problem was a total ignorance of the lyrics. They finished, both of them wiping tears of laughter from their eyes and, slouching back upon the carpet or the sofa, completely unaware they'd interrupted anything.

*******

Footsteps falling upon the bare oak stairs signaled Sirius' emergence. A brief pause, and then a satisfying _pop_ marked the unmistakable sound of the dark-haired boy cracking his back, as he did without fail at the beginning of every new day. Remus barely glanced up as the bare-chested young warlock wandered through the doorway which separated the hallway from the sparse kitchen. His chiseled face brightened as he sniffed the air and entered the room looking, as always, what Remus considered to be unnaturally and unfairly kempt for a teenage boy who had only just awoken moments before.

"Something smells _good_."

He sidled up to his flatmate and peered hopefully over the taller boy's shoulder at the pair of now goldening eggs merrily bubbling away in the shallow frying pan. A loud grumble from his toned, flat stomach betrayed his best attempt at an air mild, innocent interest.

"Remind me, what's the point of cooking like a Muggle when you could just, you know, whip out your wand and have this done in a matter of moments?"

A fond smile eased its way upon Remus' lips; he was quite used to his friend's desire to get that which he considered to be of utmost importance, the preparation of food in particular, done in the least amount of time and with minimal expenditure of effort.

"I told you already, it's satisfying. And kind of relaxing, really." Remus was soft-spoken and of fewer words, the antidote to Sirius' more energetic disposition. Even in their first term at Hogwarts, a natural affinity between the two boys had been obvious.

"And I told _you_, you're clearly nuts" retorted Sirius, his grey eyes glinting playfully as he pulled a slightly crooked pair of chairs up to the thinly-painted white, wooden table. They shared a small, rented house between the two of them; it wasn't much, but it was their first place to call their own and they, Sirius especially, loved the newfound feeling of independence.

Ignoring this, Remus changed the subject. "So, are you feeling rough after last night's antics?" At Sirius' groan, he smirked slightly; he'd always been able to hold his alcohol far better than his friends. Add to that the fact that he didn't attempt to drink himself under the table like James and Sirius did (Peter usually fell asleep after a few), he could always recall the previous night and tease his more extroverted friends.

"Utterly terrible Moony, you wise and talented chef of a friend you. My head's pounding and my stomach is threatening to erupt. Those eggs certainly helped though…"

"You are the most unsubtle person I've ever met." After chewing down the last few scraps on his own plate, Remus grabbed Sirius' and returned to the hob to make a second helping for his housemate. In all the time he'd known him, Sirius had seemed to have a stomach of bottomless depths yet never gained any weight, only maintaining a toned, athletic physique. "Still, it's probably for the best; you're going to need to some food to keep you going for a second night in a row!"

"A second night?" Sirius' eyes lit up; the morning after was never enough to stop him having a good time.

"Yeah, we planned it last night; you _were _there. Lily thought we should all have a night out and meet Peter's new girlfriend." Noticing the expression creeping onto his friend's face, he added "Don't you go getting any ideas; poor Wormtail is probably wetting himself with the thought that you and James are going to pull some awful prank or embarrass him in front of her".

"Hmm, what's it worth?"

"If you don't play nice, I'll make you dance with me all night", Remus tossed his hair and batted his eyelashes; the perfect caricature of all the countless girls who had fawned over Sirius ever since he'd begun his days at Hogwarts.

"Tsk, I could easily put up with that." Noticing the look on Remus' face, though, he amended "OK, OK, I'll be gentle."

"You promise?"

"I promise."


End file.
